O Holy Night!

Hoi! A Christmas tree here!!
Merry Christmas and god bless all!
Have a laugh! ;)
and some more! :)

Bare bare

I never told you,
I love you!
Now to stop you,
from bidding adieu,

To keep my heart from whining,
whenever memories tide in.
I'll say my confused mind,
and not leave nothing behind.

I have a dream,
with us together,
our shack by the stream,
kids running hither tither.

Hell! I yearn for the impossible,
but shall not leave hope
Courage and faith, i have, invincible,
still hope its not a nope!

Review: Kane and Abel

*Spoilers,spoilers!!

Firstly, I'm no critic and i don't plan to write a critique.[:D]

Brilliant! Few words could describe such fluidity and ease with which the author wields the mighty pen. Such was the pleasure reading the book that i was totally absorbed by the characters and their lives. So very engaging was the plot and so brilliantly was it narrated that it all seemed so real.

The characters were so remarkably brought out that i almost lived and entire 65 years in just a few days time. I fought two world wars, build up an empire, ran a bank,made love and produced offspring capable of holding up my name. It was a roller coaster ride through the entire period and had to be one of the best reads I've ever had. People,characters have always interested me and i couldn't have found a better book to dwell into the minds of two different characters uncannily similar in some respects,hunger for success and hatred for each other.

Abels story of struggle during his childhood attracted me more towards his character. I liked how gallantly he fought his way past the Russians and finally made a place for himself. But as time went by i found myself liking William's character more and more. Maybe his successful love life and meticulous manner of dealing with things attracted me. Both were ambitious and proud nevertheless. Their strong will and clarity of thought impressed me as did their prudence and decision making.Their feud sounds more analogous to an unstoppable force meeting and immovable object.

I didn't like the way Abel treated Zaphia, how i wished both lived ever so happily. I was also disappointed when William and Abel shut out each other when either of them tried to make amends to their relation (well,I've no right to get disappointed as this is the heart of the whole plot,;)).Hmm... That's life and nothing is perfect. But as Mr.Shakespeare says,"All's well that ends well" The novel was a remarkable read and fully recommended.

Jabber

Well.. I'm heading for the last shaastra as a CETian and this time the hopes are really high... I'm confident we are definitely gonna rock this time around.. Learning from past experiences, we seven have come a long way... Its been a roller coaster ride this 3 years and it al seems so fresh as if it had been yesterday that we all walked the stairs to our first year class.. We've grown more mature and our bond of friendship strengthened by each second we pass together.. This surely has been the best part of my life... For sure i'm gonna miss them all.. The sense of isolation came to me yesterday too.. I'm scared but i believe if i dont face my fears now i might not be able to overcome it in the future as well... I wanna be a complete man in an emotional sense when i pass out so that i can build on my experiences that i may encounter in the future.. To be prepared for the real life i must be. or perhaps life aint that different at all... just a bigger picture of the present may give the true nature of the future... The lack of clarity of thought has haunted me a lot but i guess its time for me to grow up, stand up to what is right and raise my voice for the good... Well.. my mind is as discordant as this post is but i have faith in myself some day it'll all come together and i shal feel true inside of mine.. Acceptance, forgiveness and healing... Some of the things i need to understand.. I need to know myself.. but how? I feel a lot more comfortable when i'm alone, when i'm left on my own... But i'm lazy then.. or i'm misdirected more correctly... too many things occupy me then and i hit a stand still.. focus, that is what is needed... direction wil come with focus and peace of mind and the power to face the unknown...

Taken for Granted

Well... Must say I'm really lucky to lead a problem free life. I've always seen myself as an under exposed raw talent. I've felt its because of the way i was brought up the way ma parents looked after me that I've remained raw forever. I've always taken their care for granted like we all do. Most of the times I've felt like had my mom been a little more well off, my dad a little more richer, then i could have expanded my horizon. But the reality is that only me myself am responsible for what ever horizons i haven't touched, my amount of knowledge about this world. Parents can only guide you , have to walk through the path treaded by the knowledge and experience of the elders.

Perhaps I should have taken a different perspective. Had i not had this much care and protection i could have turned out into a much worse individual. I've had no difficulty what so ever so far in my life. It pains me to think I'll have to leave the security of the home and step into this world to face stiffer challenges than ever before. Until now our parents took care of all our needs bearing a lot of pain. Now its our time to show then what we are capable of. I have to bring justice to what they have done for me and try and full fill their expectations to the maximum and give something back to the society that has had its share in my success.

" Success is the progressive realization of a worthy goal"

Back home

After a long time i sat down with ma tool set in the photoshop. It was nice to be back. Hmm.. I must say I haven't lost my touch with the tools even though the rendezvous has been long delayed. This is some of the pics i did. I'm still an apprentice so guess the pictures might not be hugely appealing or anything.

Here's the album: Change is refreshing!

A good conversation

Me: How are you ma boy??

Red:Fine!

Me:Very well... Hmmmm... you know why i come here dont you?

Red:Yeeaaah, to piss off!

Me:Hmmm... I'm so sorry if i'm bothering you, you the only one whom i can talk to like this..

Red:Alright. Go ahead.. Pee on me...

Me:Oh! Dont be so rude.. I'm going off then.. Sorry for wasting your time.. Take care..

Red:Fuck off!

Me: :((

Fucked Up!

OK.. this is it...

The placements are approaching fast in fact in just a month and I'm sitting in ma house like a stupid freak typing out some stupid thing.The thing that worries me the most is the fact that i ain't got nothing on me,any credentials, to prove my worth.To be fair i myself don't know what I'm worth! Sigh! Into two months I look around and i see all of them walking off with tidy little jobs. But I'm not a loser anymore. I ain't afraid I'm gonna land a fucking job or not. I'm gonna land one for sure. Why do i have to prove myself each time?

What the hell is wrong with me ? Am i just an incompetent asshole? Or I'm just a complacent prick making way for every other tom dick and harry to go forward and make a life for themselves. I know I'm talented and hardworking but I'm afraid or rather i was afraid of this socialisation and being centre of attraction and blah blah... I have got nothing to show for myself. I done nothing ma entire life. I have just wasted my time on things that never really mattered. But one thing I'm pretty confident about is I'll survive no matter what. I know i can survive because I've survived up till now and will forever. That's what I'm all about. I know myself a lot better now. I know how to enjoy life i know what this life is all about. I know what is waiting for me or perhaps i just know i ain't gonna be a fucking mud head loser.

To be frank my mind's running empty at this moment, a pain grips me by my throat it wont leave until I'm reassured about ma future. Its ma instincts. its the confidence. I'm in a confused state I'm in a fucking struggle the struggle for existence and I'm afraid I'm gonna perish in ma struggle. Wat if i don't land a job? What if i fail to make it to the IITs or IISc? What if I'm jobless after 4 years what if my dreams were to be thrown out through the window?? I don't wanna be fucking jobless i don't wanna look pathetic i don't want sympathy I'm a man I'm a man of action and not words. I'm totally fucked!

Why the fuck didn't i do a thing? Shit! I'm just pissed off like anything.. Damn!