Me: How are you ma boy??
Red:Fine!
Me:Very well... Hmmmm... you know why i come here dont you?
Red:Yeeaaah, to piss off!
Me:Hmmm... I'm so sorry if i'm bothering you, you the only one whom i can talk to like this..
Red:Alright. Go ahead.. Pee on me...
Me:Oh! Dont be so rude.. I'm going off then.. Sorry for wasting your time.. Take care..
Red:Fuck off!
Me: :((
Tuesday, May 20, 2008
Friday, May 2, 2008
Fucked Up!
OK.. this is it...
The placements are approaching fast in fact in just a month and I'm sitting in ma house like a stupid freak typing out some stupid thing.The thing that worries me the most is the fact that i ain't got nothing on me,any credentials, to prove my worth.To be fair i myself don't know what I'm worth! Sigh! Into two months I look around and i see all of them walking off with tidy little jobs. But I'm not a loser anymore. I ain't afraid I'm gonna land a fucking job or not. I'm gonna land one for sure. Why do i have to prove myself each time?
What the hell is wrong with me ? Am i just an incompetent asshole? Or I'm just a complacent prick making way for every other tom dick and harry to go forward and make a life for themselves. I know I'm talented and hardworking but I'm afraid or rather i was afraid of this socialisation and being centre of attraction and blah blah... I have got nothing to show for myself. I done nothing ma entire life. I have just wasted my time on things that never really mattered. But one thing I'm pretty confident about is I'll survive no matter what. I know i can survive because I've survived up till now and will forever. That's what I'm all about. I know myself a lot better now. I know how to enjoy life i know what this life is all about. I know what is waiting for me or perhaps i just know i ain't gonna be a fucking mud head loser.
To be frank my mind's running empty at this moment, a pain grips me by my throat it wont leave until I'm reassured about ma future. Its ma instincts. its the confidence. I'm in a confused state I'm in a fucking struggle the struggle for existence and I'm afraid I'm gonna perish in ma struggle. Wat if i don't land a job? What if i fail to make it to the IITs or IISc? What if I'm jobless after 4 years what if my dreams were to be thrown out through the window?? I don't wanna be fucking jobless i don't wanna look pathetic i don't want sympathy I'm a man I'm a man of action and not words. I'm totally fucked!
Why the fuck didn't i do a thing? Shit! I'm just pissed off like anything.. Damn!
The placements are approaching fast in fact in just a month and I'm sitting in ma house like a stupid freak typing out some stupid thing.The thing that worries me the most is the fact that i ain't got nothing on me,any credentials, to prove my worth.To be fair i myself don't know what I'm worth! Sigh! Into two months I look around and i see all of them walking off with tidy little jobs. But I'm not a loser anymore. I ain't afraid I'm gonna land a fucking job or not. I'm gonna land one for sure. Why do i have to prove myself each time?
What the hell is wrong with me ? Am i just an incompetent asshole? Or I'm just a complacent prick making way for every other tom dick and harry to go forward and make a life for themselves. I know I'm talented and hardworking but I'm afraid or rather i was afraid of this socialisation and being centre of attraction and blah blah... I have got nothing to show for myself. I done nothing ma entire life. I have just wasted my time on things that never really mattered. But one thing I'm pretty confident about is I'll survive no matter what. I know i can survive because I've survived up till now and will forever. That's what I'm all about. I know myself a lot better now. I know how to enjoy life i know what this life is all about. I know what is waiting for me or perhaps i just know i ain't gonna be a fucking mud head loser.
To be frank my mind's running empty at this moment, a pain grips me by my throat it wont leave until I'm reassured about ma future. Its ma instincts. its the confidence. I'm in a confused state I'm in a fucking struggle the struggle for existence and I'm afraid I'm gonna perish in ma struggle. Wat if i don't land a job? What if i fail to make it to the IITs or IISc? What if I'm jobless after 4 years what if my dreams were to be thrown out through the window?? I don't wanna be fucking jobless i don't wanna look pathetic i don't want sympathy I'm a man I'm a man of action and not words. I'm totally fucked!
Why the fuck didn't i do a thing? Shit! I'm just pissed off like anything.. Damn!
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